Switched
by whitem
Summary: Ron and Drakken buy gifts at the same store, but the packages get switched.  What were they?  Read and find out.  Rated 'T' for suggestive material and use of a three letter word starting with the letter 'T'...  Another oneshot...


My longest one-shot to date. Just another one of those darned one-shots that just wouldn't leave my brain until I typed it out. I figured y'all would enjoy this… so here ya go.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters involved, and no articles of clothing were harmed in the writing of this fic.

Switched

Ron's hands were shaking like a leaf. Her he was standing outside the one store in Middleton Mall that he actually _feared _going into. One time Kim tried to physically drag him inside, but he simply flat out refused to go. Especially into the one section he now was trying desperately to build up the courage to enter.

"Claudia's Mystery". He read the name of the store to himself again. "Just what _does_ that mean? Claudia's Mystery."

It wasn't a real person's name, was it? Who would have the last name Mystery anyway? Was it trying to make a statement? Does Claudia have a mystery that even she doesn't know about? Is this Claudia person just trying to be mysterious?

Kim and Ron had been dating now for almost two years. In fact, the two-year anniversary is just the reason he was trying desperately to enter this place of business, as he wanted to buy something very special for the woman of his dreams.

He wasn't frightened to enter, just very, very, very… (Did I say very?) nervous.

Standing outside the large display window Ron looked up at the mannequin that was proudly displaying a new line of sleepwear. The pose the mannequin had caused the eyes to be looking directly at Ron when he looked up.

"What are _you_ looking at?" He mumbled to the mannequin, not expecting any kind of answer.

Forcing himself to stand taller, Ron started to think that the store manager might think he was loitering. Then he thought that other people might think he was some sort of perv, waiting outside a woman's lingerie store trying to ogle the young girls going in and out.

"I'm doing this. I'm going in. Remember, it's for Kim." He said to himself, standing straighter.

Moving his feet forward, Ron closed his eyes, and moved ahead a couple steps. Then he opened his eyes, and he was inside. _YES! I made it!_

_OK… Now to find what I want, pay for it, and get out of here without anyone I know see me._ Too late.

"Stoppable, just what do you think you're doing in here?" It was Bonnie.

"I… uhhh, ummm…"

"Articulate as ever, I see. I know your not here to buy something for yourself, unless I need to tell Kim something about you …" She pulled out her cell phone, acting like she was going to dial.

"NO! Don't tell Kim I'm here! Please?" Ron's voice was almost frantic.

"Calm down, loser. Like I want to know what you and your loser girlfriend are into these days."

"Just… don't tell Kim you saw me here, OK?" Ron was almost pleading now.

"Fine. I'll forget that I saw you." She leaned in closer to Ron and spoke in a hushed voice. "Now grow a pair and get in that store to buy Kimmie something nice. Ta Ta!"

"Whew…" Ron wiped the proverbial sweat from his forehead. Suddenly a new voice appeared out of no where.

"Can I help you find something?"

"Huh?"

"Can I help you find something, sir?" It was a sales girl from the store.

Realizing immediately that he would need some help, he answered the girl. "Umm… yeah."

"Looking for something for your wife?" Ron shook his head side to side. "Girlfriend?"

"Yeah… g… girlfriend."

"Well, are you looking for anything in particular?"

"I'm… not sure."

The sales girl fixed him with a look that seemed to bore right into his deepest thoughts. "You're first time in a lingerie store?"

Unconsciously Ron's hand rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Yeah…it is."

"Let me see if I can help you. What's the occasion? Birthday?"

"Ann… Anniversary. T… two years." His eyes started to dart around the store.

"Would you like something conservative, sexy, or… just a little bit naughty?" A sly smile crossed her lips.

"Well… umm…" He thought for a few seconds, pondering the question, and then answered. "S… sexy."

"OK… that gives me a place to start. Follow me." The sales girl started to walk towards the back of the store, with Ron a few steps behind her. Sure enough she was headed for the lingerie department.

As soon as Ron saw the first glimpses of panties, frilly bra's, and other assorted undergarments, his breathing began to become more and more shallow.

"Are you OK sir?" The young girl asked, worrying about her customer.

"Y… yeah. I'm fine. I just…" Ron closed his eyes, took a deep breath and opened them. He felt a little better.

"Here we are. I have a feeling what she would like… what you _both_ would like… is a Teddy."

"A… Teddy Bear?" Ron asked, clearly confused, and the sales girl stifled a giggle.

"No… A Teddy. It's a type of sleepwear. Like this." She pulled a frilly garment off of a nearby rack, and held it in front of herself.

Ron began to feel light headed, but he brought himself back from the brink of fainting, when he thought to himself again that this was for Kim. The woman of his dreams. The woman he loved. The woman he would really like to see in one of these… Teddies.

"I'll take that as a yes." The girl said when she saw Ron's eyes gloss over. "What color would you like? We have many."

"Umm… I don't know. What would y… you suggest?"

"Well, tell me a little bit about her. What color is her skin, hair color, things like that."

"OK… She has beautiful red hair, luminous green eyes, and her soft skin is just a bit on the light side, but not as light as most redheads." Ron didn't realize that as he spoke his face had changed to one of wonder as he described his girlfriend.

The sales girl couldn't help but grin. "So, do you know her size?"

"S… size?" Ron stammered.

"How… big … is she?"

"Well… she's about… 5 ft 4 inches tall, annnd… I would say about 105 to 110 pounds."

"And what's her bust size?"

"B… b,b,b… bust… size?" Ron was entering a new realm here.

"You know?" The sales girl said with a shy smile. "Her breast size?"

"I… I… don't know." Ron said, his hands unconsciously starting to rise up and cupping, as he thought about Kim's breasts.

"Are they bigger or smaller than me?" The sales girl said, and held her arms out away from her body so Ron could use her as a comparison.

"Well… a little smaller. I think."

Are they about the size on that mannequin over there?" She pointed to a nearby statue.

Not believing he was discussing his girlfriend's tits with a complete stranger, he mumbled out a "Yes."

"OK… now that I have an idea on size, I think with her hair and skin tone, this would be perfect." She reached into a rack that was full of all different colors of lingerie, and she pulled out a Teddy that was pink and white, with just a bit of fill on the edges.

Immediately Ron pictured Kim wearing the undergarment. His answer was almost as quick. "Perfect!"

"Let's go up to the front and pay then. Would you like it in a gift box?" Ron nodded yes, and she led the way to the cashier, where Ron paid for the item in cash. Just after taking the receipt, he saw someone out of the corner of his eye.

"Nooo… Is that?" Ron stepped to the side trying to get a better look at who he thought he saw. Sure enough, there was Dr. Drakken at a different register paying for an item of clothing, though he couldn't tell what it was.

…x x x x…

Drakken was paying for his purchase when he felt someone looking at him. Glancing around, he saw the last person he thought he would see in a place like this. "The Buffoon?" He muttered to himself.

Saying a quick "Thank-you" to the cashier, Drakken then made a bee-line for the exit, and he didn't see a blond headed blur fly out from behind a rack of pants until it was too late.

Ron tackled Drakken at the knees, causing both of them to go flying out of the front door of the mall, packages flying!

"What… are… you…?" Drakken managed to say as Ron was now pulling the blue man's arms behind his back, and hoisted him up to a standing position.

"What's you're plan, Drakken?" Ron hissed into his ear as he pushed the villain up against the wall just outside of Claudia's Mystery. A small crowd had also started to congregate, to see what was going on.

"Nothing! Nothing at all! I was just…"

"Yeah right…" Ron said, as he hoisted Drakken's arms just a bit higher, eliciting a groan from the man.

"I was just buying something for someone!"

"For who?" Ron demanded. "Shego?"

"If you must know… Yes." Ron blinked.

"It's her birthday, and I wanted to get her something nice. Now will you let… me… go!"

Ron stepped back, releasing the blue villain. "I'm letting you go this time, Drakken. But if I ever se you in this mall again, I'm taking you down."

"Fair enough." Drakken said as he brushed the sleeves of his lab coat. "Now where's my package?"

The two walked over to where the two bags lay, and each of them picked up their bag, and left the mall

…x x x x…

That evening, Ron had everything planned out. He would have Kim over to his place for a candle light dinner, and he would present Kim with two surprises. One, what he had just gotten earlier that day, and two, he was going to ask Kim for her hand in marriage.

Being a bit of a romantic, Ron picked Kim up from her apartment, drove her to his place, and then asked her to put on a blind-fold. After a bit of cajoling from Ron, she finally agreed.

Ron led her to his apartment, which was really a large condo, through the front door, and into his dining room. There he pulled the blind fold off of his girlfriend's face, and Kim just about burst into tears.

There on the table were place settings for two, and two large candles burning brightly in the subdued lighting of the room. "Oh Ronald… It's, beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you." He said as he gently removed Kim's jacket, revealing her knee-length black cocktail dress.

"You didn't have to go through all this for me…" She said, as Ron pulled out her chair.

"But I wanted our second anniversary to be special." She sat down, inhaling the smells coming from the kitchen.

…x x x x…

After finishing a meal of Chicken Caciatory with quiet music in the background, Ron kneeled in front of Kim, and asked for her hand in marriage. Needless to say, she said yes.

After a lot of hugging and kissing, Ron backed away from his now fiance'. He wanted to give her the gift he had purchased earlier.

"Kim?" He said, looking her in the eye. "I have a… gift for you. For our anniversary. I… hope you like it."

"Oh Ron… Nothing could make this night more perfect. This…" She waved a hand over the table, "Is enough. You didn't have to get me anything else."

"But I wanted to. I really, really Wanted to." With that, he left the room, grabbed the Claudia's Mystery box, and came back into the room where Kim had moved over to the nearby couch.

When Kim saw the box, her eyes lit up. "Ron! How did you even…"

"Set foot in the place? Believe me, it took every ounce of will power to do it Kim. But you are definitely worth it. Happy Anniversary." Kim began to open the box, but Ron stopped her. "Take it in the bedroom, put it on, and then come back out."

Kim rolled her eyes. "OK… But I'm just doing this to humor you… My husband to be." Ron smiled at hearing those words.

Kim went into the bedroom, and Ron expected her to come out in just a few minutes. Five minutes turned into ten, then he heard Kim's voice echo out of the room. "Ron? Are you sure you want me to wear this?"

"Yeah Kim, I think you would look just spankin'! Why? Don't you like it?"

"I… just never thought you were… into this sort of thing."

"What do you mean, Kim? Come on out. I want to see my badical Fiance'!"

The door slowly opened, and Kim walked out. Ron's jaw dropped onto the floor, and continued underneath the couch. There was Kim, his Kim, standing in front of him with a leather dominatrix outfit!

"K… Kim! Wh… what are you wearing?" Ron couldn't believe what he was seeing. There stood Kim with a leather and steel studded collar around her neck, a tight leather tube top that actually seemed a little big on her, a short black leather skirt, and knee-high black leather boots. To complete everything, she also held a black whip!

"I… I… " Ron almost couldn't find his voice. "Kim… I never bought you that!"

"You just gave it to me…"

A light blinked on in Ron's mind. "Drakken." He said, his eyes squinting slightly.

"What about Drakken?"

"He was there too. At Claudia's Mystery. I… thought he was up to something, and I tackled him outside the store. After I put a little hurt on him, he said he was just buying something for Shego for her birthday!"

"You mean this was for Shego!" Kim's face blanched, and she ran back into the bedroom. She came out a few minutes later with her mission gear on. "What did you actually get me Ron?"

"But… I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Rooonnn…"

"It was a Teddy, Kim. A pink and white Teddy." He dropped his head in defeat. "You probably don't want to be my wife now, do you."

"Oh Ron… I want to be your wife now more than ever." She said quietly, and then her voice changed to a serious tone. "Now let's go get my Teddy back."

"I'll get my mission gear on, and grab that… other stuff." He went into the bedroom, and in a few minutes came out with his mission gear on and the Claudia'a Mystery bag with the items in question placed back into their box.

…x x x x…

Approximately two hours later…

"Happy Birthday, Shego." Drakken said as he handed the box to his sidekick, Shego.

"Oh Drew… you shouldn't have." And she started to open the box when Drakken stopped her, and smiled a devious little smile.

"Go change into it in the bedroom, and come out here to model it for me. I think you'll like it."

Shego took the package and went into the bedroom. Drakken waited… and waited… and waited. "What is taking so long Shego?"

"Uhh… Doc? Are you sure you want me to wear this thing?"

"Of course, Shego. Why wouldn't you want to? I thought you were… into that sort of thing."

Shego stepped out of the bedroom and Drakken's jaw dropped to the floor and under the couch. There stood Shego dressed in a frilly pink and white Teddy that seemed just a little bit too small.

"Th… that's not what I… bought you!" Then he thought to himself, _The Buffoon!_

"It seems a little… tight." Shego said as she put a finger between the elastic on the bottoms.

"Don't stretch it out!" A voice said from a nearby ventilation shaft, and then Kim and Ron dropped down onto the floor in fighting stances.

"What are you…" Shego started to say and then saw a dumb-struck Buffoon staring at her.

"Put your eyes back in their sockets, Stoppable!" Shego said as she fired up her hands.

"And you, Princess…" Shego pointed a flaming finger at Kim, "Stay right there!"

Shego disappeared back into the bedroom, and emerged wearing her usual green jumpsuit. "OK, Princess… Now I'm ready! Bring it!"

Again, a light went on in Ron's head, and he yelled out… "Stop!"

The two combatants skidded to a stop mere feet from each other, ready to beat the others brains out. Ron continued. "I think I know what will make everyone happy."

Ron reached into his backpack and pulled out the box that contained the leather… garments. "I believe this is your, Shego. Now where's the one you have?"

Shego stomped into her room, and then emerged again with a box missing the lid, and tissue spilling out over the sides. Inside was the very garment the Ron had originally purchased for Kim.

Ron slowly walked up to Shego holding out the box, as Shego was doing with hers, and in an instant, both grabbed their respective boxes from the others' hand.

Shego yanked the lid off her box and looked inside. At the same time, Ron handed his box to Kim so she could see what he had _really_ gotten her.

Both women squealed like little girls, and said the exact same thing at the exact same time. "I Love it!"

Then Kim spoke with a growl. "You better not have stretched this out with that lard butt of yours, Shego."

Shooting daggers at Kim, Shego replied, "I bet you didn't even fill this out right… _Princess_…"

"C'mon Ron… let's get out of here."

…x x x x…

As Kim and Ron left the lair, they heard something echo through the halls they so did not want to hear.

The sound of a whip cracking, and then Drakken saying, "Oh Shego… You're so bad!"

…x x x x…

After returning to Ron's Condo, both started to enter the bedroom when Kim stopped Ron. "Hold it right there, mister."

"Huh…?" Ron had a look of confusion on his face.

"You go lay on the bed, and I'll… get more comfortable."

The two went inside, and Ron went straight to the bed and lay down, removing his shoes, and shirt. Kim went into the master bathroom, and then came out in just a few minutes. Ron had his back turned to the bathroom when he heard Kim's voice.

"Ronnie… I love it."

Ron turned around and beheld a sight that was more beautiful than a plate of Nacos, more beautiful than a Middleton summer sunset. Kim stood there in the Teddy with an almost shy look on her face, biting her lower lip.

"Wonnie… I love you." She sauntered over to Ron, and planted a deep, wet kiss on his lips.

The entire building that the condo was located in was jarred awake at almost two o'clock in the morning with a resounding "BOOYAH" that seemed to echo forever.

The end…

* * *

Hope y'all enjoyed… Laters… 


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